The monster from within

i hear about your troubles and I feel sympathy

but your actions

invoke feelings and desires

that I’m not proud of

i feel like i’m some sort of monster

waking from within wishing

that you suffer

suffer like I did

you destroyed my marriage

or perhaps it was already over

but I didn’t have the opportunity 

to really have a chance

to save something that was already sinking

my voice is so utterly quieted

nothing like it was before when I was obliviously happy

nothings perfect

but my voice is still gone

so gone that these words are echoing through my head

in the voice of eminem

perhaps I feel like he could tell my story better

you brought destruction

and then you expect me to be your friend as you mother my child

but then the bitterness creeps in

I don’t want him back

and in fact I”m better off but the feelings are still so raw

even thought it’s been 8 years since he said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be married anymore

he had no business getting married again

he said he didn’t want to be with me since I got sick when I was pregnant with our son

now look at you

trumping that illness with your own…you should think now

he’ll probably dump you too for another girl…probably a student…..or another teacher…which is his mo

then you will understand 

what the mother fucking hell you put me through